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Monday, February 28, 2005

Raising your horizons with Gustav Klimt

There’s something about the landscapes of Gustav Klimt that’s dramatic. More correctly there’s a couple of things that he does visually that jars the eyes. The placement of the horizon, and the shape of the canvas.

Klimt’s landscapes have been in my head for months, with their very high horizons and their square canvases. The high horizons I can recreate by looking down as I walk. But I needed some canvases.

Well okay, I didn’t; I really needed to paint – but it’s easier to buy canvases than paint them, and you still get to be an artist. And the sign enticed me in. 50% off. Large stretched canvases, here I come.

But each canvas had two price tickets. Better clear this with the owner.
-Is the sale price calculated on the cheaper of the two prices on each canvas?
-No, it’s on the other one, the red tickets. And it’s only for brand XY canvases.

The place was full of sale signs. They all said YX not XY. Other brands 40% off. Yellow tickets say two for cheaper price total than red tickets. Get headache. Pause. Choose canvases, all square ones. Too many are too big or too small. Compare brands. Compare discounts. Do the math. Final decisions. Still have headache. Go to checkout.

-Oh no, these would have to be the same size to get this yellow discount. And they’re brand YX, not XY, so that will be 40% off the red ticket price not 50%.
-Let me take them back and have a rethink.

Brain tired. Leave all canvases. Recall that in five years I can’t remember their canvases not being at least 40% off. No business from me today. Indignant I leave. Go to competitor. More expensive canvases. But better quality. Buy. Art Supply Store A loses. Verne wins. So does Art Supply Store B. Notice I’ve spent dinner money for three days. Remain starving stereotype. Note that despite starvation, pants much more comfortable with two buttons undone.

Another Friday, another opening. More artists than collectors. Almost no buyers. Enjoy the paintings. Except when overly stylistic. Dislike use of multiple parallel lines. And very jagged edges. And exaggerated curves. Talk to the artist. Seems tired. Talk to another artist. No longer full time. Returned to corporate employment. Offers me similar corporate opportunity. Look disdainful. Is she happy? Yes, though it’s not what she wanted. Ask her what she wanted. Says she wanted to be a big PM Dawn fan.

Return to hors d’oeuvres. Take two. Call them dinner. Undo two buttons.

Paul Dorrell says "You want your life to be your canvas."


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