Gratification by Vegetables

I painted an Avocado. A fruit, you say, spotting my first mistake. You're wrong; my first mistake was painting it. And anyway according to RecipeGoldmine.com, an Avocado is a fruit treated as a vegetable. How do you treat your vegetables?

Inspired by Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death I took my paints out. Well okay I didn't - they're always out. It was my intentions I took out. So to speak. Tell me though, and I have as much time for Shannon Tweed as the next man, but why would the world need a campy send-up of California?

-I like your painting of the pear.
-I don't have a painting of a pear.
-Well your painting of the pear-shaped fruit then.
-It's a vegetable.
-It's a pear-shaped vegetable?
-Yes. It's an Avocado.
-An Avocado is a pear.
-It doesn't taste like a pear.
-It's an Alligator Pear.
-It doesn't taste like an alligator.
-It refers to its appearance.
-And yet it's not alligator-shaped I can't help but notice.
-But it is alligator skin-like, you will agree?
-If I will agree, why do you ask?
-To find out why you painted it like a pear.
-I painted it like an Avocado.
-Which is also called an Avocado Pear.
-But my painting is not called An Avocado Pear.
-You do know that an Avocado is a fruit and not a vegetable.
-Ah, but it is treated like a vegetable.
-When?
-In conversation.

According to Murray Dessner, Paul Dorrell in his book Living the Artist's Life, has broken new ground here, and in doing so has been able to share the fruits of his successes and failures with us.